POSITIVE WINGS

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ENERGY

Love is one of the most over-rated words of the English dictionary and one of the most abused and misused.

What a ridiculous notion to say that love is an emotion..!!. Love is one of the most powerful energy sources in the world. I am amazed that nobody can see it. It is the most vibrant VIBGYOR seen and those who have not experienced it are truly bereft. They deserve my heartfelt sympathies.

Love can make your thoughts fly, make you jump, make you leave all that you held dear up to that time, allow you to see the rainbow without it having rained.

All your joy is on the frequency of love— the highest and most powerful frequency of all. You can’t hold love in your hand.  You can only feel it in your heart.  It is a state of ‘Being’,

Only one who has felt this feeling is able to radiate and emit ‘IT’. Your ability to generate feelings of love is unlimited. When you love you are in complete, utter harmony with the Universe. So “Love everything you can. Love everyone you can.”

Focus only on things that make you happy,

FEEL love.

You will experience that love and joy are synonymous.

Actually my philosophy is very simple. Like attracts like. So the law of attraction must send you back more things and people to love and who love you back. When you smile, it ripples and the world and environment give it back to you multifold.

HEAR HEAR !!

Words of caution- When embarking on this wonderful journey, do not give your heart away. And do not yearn for the one you love. Just learn to ‘BE’.

I haven’t.

I am simply dressed in love!

HOLDING HANDS AND WIPING TEARS

I am a proud and happy mother.

I obviously, would not exchange my place in life with any living soul on this planet.

My children are my blessings and my joy.

There have been many times that I have come across mothers, who wear a tired haggard expression on their faces at the burdensome chore of simply looking after their children or child and I send a heartfelt thank you to the LORD above that I have had it easier. Or have I? I wondered.

I give absolute credit to my Husband who was insistent that we would first and foremost raise happy children, who are well-balanced emotionally and an asset to themselves and to society at large. At the same time he had this rule for me and Himself that we would never raise our hand on our child, and   our voice if only a dire necessity. He always used to firmly emphasize that if one is unable to hold his temper or tongue, one is less of a human.

I abided by his rules diligently coupled with pleasure. Though at times I did feel like scratching my hair out but the thought of being bereft of his tacit approval with his special smile was more than I could bear. So I learnt to deal with situations without getting excited, realizing later on that after 5 minutes, any situation diffused by nearly 50 %. The urge to be volatile dissipated along with it. Moreover, when you don’t react immediately, the child also realizes her mistake and is more likely to reason it with you. Most parents greet their children’s teenage years with needless dread. While teens may assault us with loud music, wear outlandish clothes and spend their precious time with friends, such behavior scarcely adds up to full-scale revolt.

When parents overreact, teens assert themselves more; parents clamp down harder. Resultant: a nice blow-up.

Remember parents; there is no such creature as a typical teenager. Every child is different, is unique and just accept it as a fact. You can’t say to your child that your brother or sister did not behave as you do when he/she was at that age or did not ask for the same things or liberties then why should you want them. Or before you, they did fine with whatever they had, then why can’t you be satisfied. By comparing, you are taking away the natural birth right of your child to ask of you. Or unfairly expecting him/her to think and feel exactly as their sibling. Your teen is now larger, stronger, older and smarter than before. And with an additional supply of hormones raging through his bloodstream as well. Nevertheless, he or she is still the same human being you’ve lived with since birth. Given a chance, your son or daughter will continue to behave in ways you’ve established.

While you want to be a friend to your child, sharing sorrow and triumphs, gradually building up mutual trust and confidence, such friendship does not include equality. You should remain the captain of the ship. You may listen to the voices but it’s up to you to set the course. Though there is no total right or total wrong, certain parents are too permissive, trying to win their child’s affection by agreeing to all they demand.

Many a times, they are afraid to appear strict, lest it be construed as being harsh.

Others are too autocratic and just lay dawn the law which tends to bring about a rebellious streak in the child.

Your child for all his/her bravado, just wants to assert his own authority, and yet assent to a comforting will of their parents. They want to feel cared for and want to experience the comfort of their parents taking a responsibility for them.  They should feel confident that if things go awry they have their parents to turn up to and do not wish to be afraid to reach out to them when goof-ups occur as they most certainly do.

Children require the discipline of a firm hand, but not a totally unbending deadline.

You have to give them enough leeway and set parameters too.

Parents, who allow their teens freedom with responsibility, and within disciplinary limits, have more influence than either autocratic or permissive parents. By not dictating every move, they allow the important points to stand out above what’s less important. Today’s child is logically and philosophically driven, given the wide exposure to the available media.

PARENTS—PICK YOUR BATTLES.

Coming down hard on every petty misdemeanor escalates minor hassles into an all-out battle. When your son lets his hair grow to his shoulders, or your daughter experiments with outrageous make-up, accept the appearance as a harmless fad. If, however, he or she asks to attend a party where you suspect drugs might be used put your foot down ’HARD’—and keep it there. Discuss the behavior you expect from your child and be considerate of issues important to them even if they seem silly to you. It teaches them to respect your priorities which may seem like idiosyncrasies to them.

Remember too that many times parents serve as handy scapegoats for disappointments in kids’ lives and they tend to vent their frustrations on you. It is ok and should be taken as a privilege. After all we are there for them whenever needed and what better way to assuage their feelings.

The teen years signal blossoming of your baby into a young adult who wants to spread his/her wings and does not take kindly to kissing or cuddling. It may be emotionally tiring at times to see them assert themselves even when you know them to be wrong. ‘LET GO’.  And after a while you realize that this phase is equally fulfilling. Parents necessarily need not agree on every issue but should present a flexible united front. It helps.

AH-HA….!!! This is an important one.

DO NOT FORGET TO LAUGH.

I remember in my home there were 2 distinct things we did which always helped us reach the bottom line, i.e.- we are a family and the motto is

‘ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL’. No matter what !*!

We used to have healthy discussions which would sometimes turn into arguments and yet sometimes they would stream into personal issues which would get the back up of at least one member of my vociferous and volatile family. Then that member would invariably sulk and go up to her room and all would disperse. I would start getting queasy because for me it was vital that all my family is in perfect happiness plus harmony with itself at all times. So I developed a routine. We had a grotesque, grinning tortoise in our home which was symbolic of a sulking pout.  So the minute I felt that any member was on the verge of losing it I would hurriedly get the tortoise and put it on the center of the table, and ask aloud. Who is going to be a tortoise today…?. Invariably everybody would hush, look at each other and my younger one would giggle, diffusing the situation.

Yet at certain times, this too would not work and then I did one thing the thought of which makes me proud. My Husband and I would light a candle and keep it burning the night through, telling our child that he/she is loved as they are, for whatever they are and they are the ‘light’ of our house. It also symbolized the fact that even when they are older and will go wherever their life leads them to, they have this home to return to. Here the doors will always be open.

Love with a handsome dose of humor works.

All in all, enjoy your parenthood. Time passes and you need to build memories every day.

These lines by Carrie Washington say a lot, “At night I turn my problems over to God. He is going to be up all night anyway.”

Life is yours and Bliss is within.